The Computer
by Sengsouly
Summary: Pein locked away the hideout's computer, and Deidara has an idea to get it back. Will he, along with the help of other members, be able to get the computer back? Chapter story. Chapter 4 is up, and updates will be every week or two. Read and review, but no flames please.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: okay, so this story will most likely be three or four chapters long. No, your eyes do not deceive you; this will **_**NOT **_**be a oneshot… Anyways, the story will be rate "T" for teens for mild language whenever Hidan makes his appearance. Sorry if anyone is OOC, or if there are any errors. Sorry for the bad title, I couldn't think of anything. Wow, shortest author's note yet! Well, read, review, and of course enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

**The Computer**

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

"Man, I'm so bored, un! There isn't anything to do!" griped Deidara as he lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

Now, what he had said was true. Things in the hideout were not as amusing as they were a week ago. The hideout in general wasn't exciting anymore. Why? The reason is simple: Pein had taken the computer away and locked it in a place where only he can access it. Not even Konan is allowed to mess with it. Pein had said that most of the members were giving the Akatsuki a bad reputation with all of their internet mishaps.

"Well, at least it can't get any worse, right?" Deidara asked to himself, hoping that it really couldn't.

"Senpai! Where are you?" Deidara heard a very annoying voice call from down the hall.

"Ugh, I spoke too soon..."

"Oh there you are Senpai; I'm bored… Can I stay in your room for a little bit? I promise I'll be a good boy!" pleaded Tobi, who seemed slightly less cheerful than his usually self.

With so much as a five second death glare and a sigh, Deidara gave in, saying, "Fine, just sit in the corner and whatever you do, DO NOT touch anything, un. There really isn't a single thing to do, so I don't blame you. For once."

"So, what should we do? Ever since Pein moved the computer to his room, which is one of the two rooms in the hideout with special defenses, might I add; it has been so boring here. And I don't want to watch TV either," complained Tobi.

After a few minutes of thinking, an evil smirk came upon Deidara's face. "How about we get some other members and steal the computer back, un. That will prove to Pein that we arent discriminating the Akatsuki!" suggested Deidara as he got off of his bed and made a leader pose. Then he slightly deepened his voice and said, "Alright, first stop, Sasori-Danna's room!"

**AN: Okay, so there's the prologue. I hope that it seems interesting enough for you guys to set it on alerts. Well, I hope that neither of the two in this chapter were OOC. I also apologize if there were any errors. Chapter two should be up in a week or two; it just depends on how much time I will get on the laptop. Don't forget to review, and have a nice rest of your day! **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: On to chapter two of *thunder booms in the background* "The Computer". So, anyways…I am VERY, VERY SORRY! My aunt visited from Canada and I was so busy with family things! I also got my sister back into Naruto Shippuden, so she was watching the episodes on the laptop. I watched with her because I had nothing else to do. Then she got me into The Prince of Tennis. Also my birthday was the 25****th****, and all of that means not as much time to type. I'm going to stop with the excuses now, because you aren't reading this for them. So, thanks to **_**MurderJuice and iolvemyboys **_**for putting this story on their alerts and for adding me to their favorite authors. Rated "T" for Teens.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and anything associated with it do not belong to me.**

**The Computer**

**Chapter 2(1?): Recruiting members **

"Hey, Danna can you—"

"No."

"B-but, you don't even know what we were gonna say!" whined Tobi, who was a lot more cheerful after leaving Deidara's room.

"And I don't have to know," explained Sasori "And frankly, I don't give a damn about what you guys are doing."

"Sasori, we are going to get the computer back, un," Deidara tried to convince the puppet master, who was polishing his collection with an expression on his face that would scare anyone who wasn't in the Akatsuki.

"And, um, I'll let you have a peek under my mask!" exclaimed Tobi, trying to help his Senpai recruit Sasori to their team.

_Hmm… the computer and Tobi's face… _thought Sasori as he looked up at his ceiling with his hand under his chin for about ten seconds,"You've got yourself a new teammate!"

"Are you really going to let him see under your mask?" whispered Deidara as the trio had started to walk out of Sasori's room, "Because I haven't even seen it before."

"Of course I won't, Senpai. Sometimes you are just so block-headed," with that being said, Tobi couldn't help but giggle a little bit.

Deidara on the other hand was not amused at all. _I'm block-headed? Says the guy who thought that Zetsu was a Venus Fly-Trap at first sight. He also thought that Kisame was the son of Jaws. _"Okay, so let's see… the next person on our list is… Itachi." After he said that the three had made a right turn in the dim-lit hallway,—that was actually nicely furnished thanks to Kakuzu—followed by another right turn and walked into the first room on the left.

"Alright, Itachi, would you like to help us get the computer out of Pein's room, un?" questioned Deidara. As he asked he felt very anxious and nauseous, because without Itachi his plan would not be a success.

"Only if you let me have it to myself all day every Wednesday for the next month," was the quickest reply that any of them had ever heard from their fellow member of the organization. "Besides, we have time since the nine-tailed Jinchuriki is probably at the ramen shop at Konoha with his friends, goofing off."

**Meanwhile at the Ichiraku Ramen Stand:**

"Guys, is it just me or do any of you guys feel like somebody in a distant land just insulted us?" asked Naruto.

"N-Naruto is right, I too had that same feeling…"agreed Hinata.

Sakura, Rock Lee, Kiba, Sai, Ino, Tenten, and Choji just nodded their heads.

**Back at the Hideout:**

"Okay then our next person is Kisame; now where could he be?" wondered Sasori.

"I'll go get him," and then Itachi walked down the hall towards his partner's room.

"Yay! I will be able to be on the computer soon!" bellowed Tobi, getting tackled down by Deidara immediately after.

"Shush! Do you want Pein to know about our plan, un!" Deidara yelled as quietly as he could in his hushed angry voice.

There was an awkward silence after that. Soon followed by footsteps, and whoever it was, they were headed their way. The sound of feet trudging their way was getting louder and louder by the second. "Uh, Deidara… I think you should get off of Tobi, because you two don't really look natural in that position," suggested Sasori.

That statement was very true. Deidara was sitting on top of Tobi with his face close to Tobi's mask, and Tobi was lying underneath him. Who knows what kind of expression Tobi had on his face, thanks to the mask. It could've been a smile, maybe not. But if anybody had seen the sight, they would get the completely wrong idea.

"Ugh, Danna, I can't… my hair is stuck on something, un. Tobi why don't you get out from under me? That would make this a little less weird."

"Sorry, no can do Senpai. Tobi got his cloak stuck on a loose nail." Tobi explained.

"No, don't say that! Sasori, help me!" Please!" plead Deidara, almost in tears.

"If I did and whoever's heading this way saw, it would be a much more disturbing sight," Sasori shuddered at the thought, "Besides, watching you guys like this is kind of amusing." Then Sasori just smirked and leaned against the wall to relax and enjoy the view.

"Oh, when I get out of this I'm going to kill—"

"What's all of the ruckus… about… um, what the hell is going on here?" Thank goodness it wasn't Pein; it was Kisame and Itachi. Still, it was very embarrassing for Deidara that his whole face turned a bright red, and he jumped from being startled, pulling his hair out of the grasp of the floor boards. Shortly after, Tobi was free from the loose nails.

"It is definitely not what it looked like!"

"By 'what it looked like' do you mean you getting up on poor defenseless Tobi, who looked like he was too shocked to move, while Sasori just got scarred for life since he was an eye-witness of your dastardly deed?" clarified Kisame.

"None of your sick fantasies happened! The halls may be nicely furnished, but the flooring is just horrid! And this stays between the five of us and nobody else, ok? Now, let's just go find Kakuzu!"

"Alright Molester Senpai…" snickered Tobi.

The group was now walking towards Kakuzu's room. There had been a few more witty comments about Deidara's little incident, but other than that, they were pretty quiet. The five of them had to make two lefts and a right just to get to the hall that Kakuzu's room was in. Then they walked to the exact middle of the hall and entered the door on the right. His room was nicely lit and had a soft looking bed. There were two chairs and a TV too. Sitting upon one of the chairs was none other than Kakuzu, who had decided to spend his time looking through his Bingo Book.

"Ahem, hey Kakuzu how about we get the computer back, un?"

"Why should I help you?"

"Guys," Sasori took a step forward, "Let me handle this. Hey, Kakuzu, if you help us get the computer back, I'll help you make some big money."

"And how are you going to accomplish that?" was the snarky reply he got.

"Well," Sasori strode in Kakuzu's direction a little bit more, "I propose that I will help you set up an EBay account and give you some of my puppets to sell on there."

"You got yourself a deal!"

"Yay! Did you hear that Senpai?" screeched Tobi.

"Like hell I did, un!"

"Okay guys, let's not fight amongst ourselves." preached Itachi and Kisame, who seemed to be some of the more sane people of the scouted people.

"They're right; now come on we still need to get Hidan and Konan," agreed Sasori.

Finding Hidan was fairly simple. Everyday around noon—it is 12:05 at the moment for them—he would be found in the living room relaxing on the couch after a ritual. The fatigued lot trudged their way all the way across the hideout. In about fifteen minutes they had made it to the sleeping immortal lying down on the soft leathery couch. Man, how he looked so calm and peaceful when he slept.

"Hey, get up you lazy ass," was all Kakuzu had to say to set off the used to be slumbering male.

"What the hell did you just say to me, you cheap ass piggy bank thief?" yelled Hidan. If only the peace and quiet stayed whenever he was awake…

"That was a one-time thing, so you better shut up, or else I will really kill you one of these days!"

_Is that what happened to all of my money that I kept in my shark-like piggy bank? _Wondered Kisame as the argument between the "Zombie Duo" dragged on and on.

"That's enough!" Deidara yelled, "Come with us so that we can get the computer back," he hushed his voice so that Pein wouldn't hear the conversation. "Now are you going to help us out or not?"

"Hell yeah I'll help you out. I've been so damn bored that sometimes I don't feel like praying to Jashin. If you ask me that's saying something."

"Then follow me, un. We still need to get Konan."

This time the team had decided to sneak around the house to find Konan, since more than half of the organization hanging out with each other for no reason is a bit suspicious. They peered around every corner that they had come across. After surveying the room or hall for the "enemy"—in their case Pein—they tucked and rolled past the opening where they could possibly be spotted. When they finally found Konan in the room it had already been twenty-three minutes since Hidan joined the group.

"Hey, hey," hissed Deidara as he stuck his head around the corner, "Want to get the comouter out of Pein's room?"

"Yes, but count me out of your ridiculous plans."

"But—"

"No 'but's"

"But, what if—"

"I said 'No but's' and that's final."

"Alright 'mother' we'll leave you alone."

"Good."

"Okay, un, looks like Konan is out of the group. Let's go back to my room," Deidara whispered.

**In Deidara's Room:**

"Okay, so with a few minor changes to my blueprints, this is the plan, un…"

**Well, it seems like Deidara has everything figured out… but I don't. Well, I apologize for this chapter being out so late. Hopefully I can make a plan that is good enough in a shorter amount of time. Anyways, please review, but no flames. I hope to get some positive feedback.**

**Itachi: You lack… creativity…**

**Ryoma Echizen: Mada Mada Dane.**

**Me: **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Oh man, this is so late. It's like I say I will update in a week or two, but then I wait MONTHS later! Now I know how all the other writers that do that feel like. Again, I apologize for this being so late! I know that almost everyone uses this excuse, but I blame school. Not because it cuts into my time (school is easy, and I always finish homework in class), but my US history and English teachers really take the writing juices out of me XD. Seriously, in the past month I had to: write a song about the Revolutionary War, memorize it and perform it **_**twice, **_**rewrite the Declaration of Independence (with high-leveled vocabulary), write a personal narrative, write a persuasive essay, and make questions and the closing argument for a prosecuting lawyer because we are doing a mock trial for the novel ****The Outsiders**** (amazing book by the way). Oh 8****th**** grade... Enough of me rambling; I bet you guys would want to read the story rather than this.**__**So, to get to the point, ****thanks for the reviews; I actually got someone to call Deidara "Molester Senpai"! Without further ado, here is chapter three of The Computer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, any of its characters. P.S. There is a surprise in here. Let's see if anyone can guess what it's from... :)**

"So you all understand the plan, un?" confirmed Deidara, who was on the edge of his seat, just waiting to get the computer back. They were in Deidara's room, but the gang had brought the whole entire kitchen table and all of its chairs in too.

"Ready when you are, Molester Senpai!" replied Tobi; Deidara was almost about to rage over the use of the inaccurate nickname.

"Okay, let's get moving; you guys know that I hate to wait..." Sasori interjected into the conversation. Everyone else in the room silently agreed because the didn't want Pein discover their plan.

"Alright-y then Molester Senpai, everyone is ready, so let's head out!" Tobi yelled so loud that the residents of Konoha and possibly everywhere else in the ninja world could've heard him.

**At Konoha:**

"Did you hear that?" Kotetsu asked his best friend. Izumo just nodded in response.

**Elsewhere:**

"Hey, what was that noise?" a random and unnamed ninja from the Hidden Sand asked her partner.

"Yeah, but let's just ignore it because I don't really feel like doing any surveillance right now…" the male next to her said. The two smiled at each other and went off to find something to eat.

**Back to the Akatsuki:**

"Shh! You are going to alarm Pein, un." Deidara tackled Tobi to the floor again, "And if you do I will—," before he was able to finish he was rudely interrupted by…

"Oh no! The molester is at it again!"

"Let's call him _Rapist_ Senpai now!"

"Great Idea! By the way, can I copyright it so that every time you say it I get money?"

"Shut the hell up, Kakuzu!"

"You people are annoying..." Itachi muttered and turned to face a different direction. Sasori just stood there, gawking at the stupidity of his teammates.

"Shut up everyone. Just shut up. Pein probably knows about the plan by now, un. But since there's a chance that he doesn't, we will still proceed with the idea, un."

With the whole hullabaloo and whatnot finished, the team stalked their way down the long corridor. They stayed by the walls so they wouldn't be caught. It was a good thing that the lights were all off (Kakuzu wanted to save as much money as he could), because their cloaks blended in with the darkness.

"Are we almost there, Senpai?" Tobi asked. He was getting tired already, and was starting to sound like an obnoxious kid on a road trip.

"Be quiet, un." Deidara had began feeling like the parent of an obnoxious child, but he didn't want to scream and jeopardize the mission.

As they inched closer and closer towards the leader's room, they heard a lot of different voices that were yelling coming from his door. Those voices had various accents that included: Russian, French, British, Chinese, and many others.

"Who the fuck is in Pein's room?" questioned Hidan, who spoke the thoughts of everyone else.

"How should we know?" replied Itachi.

Finally, they reached the entrance, and they all poked their heads around the door frame. At that exact moment, they heard:

"PAAAAAASSSSSSTTTTTTAAAAAAAAA A~"

The whole group, including Itachi, made the weirdest expressions, sweatdropped, and slowly ducked their heads back behind the door. Sasori's eyes were twitching; they just wouldn't stop, Hidan had his mouth ajar, and his eyes were very wide, Kisame made an "OMG WTF" face, again, Itachi was facepalming, Kakuzu was covering what little bit of his face that showed to cover his expression, Tobi covered his one eye-hole, and Deidara's face said, "What the hell was that?! That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen... wel, besides Tobi..."

"Um, who else thinks that we go back to Deidara's room and wait an hour or two?" suggested Sasori. They all agreed.

So, the group went back to "HQ" and started to play Candy Land. They weren't playing Monopoly because Kakuzu raged the last time they played it, and he broke the board into pieces.

"Shall we try again now, un? It's been a few hours." Deidara started. The group nodded in unison.

**Well, that ends chapter three. I feel bad for uploading a filler chapter after like four months of not updating. But, I still need to think of Deidara's plan... Anyways, since I haven't written in a while, I hope that nobody was OOC, and I apolgize for any errors of any type. **

**So, who knows what Pein was watching? Kudos to any of you who know, because it is one of the greatest shows created (or at least in my opinion). Well, I'm trying to get the next chapter out before Christmas, so expect one. Also, don't forget to review :D **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey guys, I'm back, and it is time for more of "The Computer"! Well, to start things off, I want to wish all of you readers "happy holidays"! Now, I will reveal what Pein was watching (that is if you didn't know what it was), and that is…. Hetalia: Axis Powers. He was actually watching the beginning scene of the first episode at the world conference. If you have not seen this show and you love lots and lots of cracky humor, I highly recommend it. But, if you are easily offended…. Don't watch it…. Anyways, to those of you who knew what Pein was watching, kudos to you; you guys are awesome. As for the rest of you, you guys are awesome as well XD**

**Now, I will reply to comments:**

_**ilovemyboys-**_** Hahaha, maybe I'll make a one shot of that XD It seems interesting enough. Besides, this story is likely going to conclude soon.**

**MeiMeiaru8- ****Now that's an idea: the nations invading the Akatsuki hideout XD Yeah, it is a lot of work, but I like writing, so it all works out. Plus we got to dress up for the trial and Revolutionary War song (I cosplayed as America, and my friends were England, France, and Prussia). World history sounds like an awesome class; I just hope that I'll have the same Hetalia loving friend that I have now in that class.**

_**Kayra isis- **_**Yep, good ol' Hetalia. Hahaha, a meeting with the G8 plus Pein; that would be hilarious.**

**Disclaimer: If I were to own Naruto and its characters... Never mind, I wouldn't want to think of that; it would suck **_**so**_** bad XD **

**Chapter 4: Plan in Action!**

"Alright, un, let's get going," Deidara declared with obvious excitement.

"Actually, I've been thinking about your plan, and I think that some roles should be changed," Itachi stated. "I think that you, Tobi, and Sasori should do what Kisame and I were supposed to. Kakuzu and Hidan's places are correct though."

"Ugh, alright... But first, do you guys agree with them as well, un?" he asked Sasori and Tobi.

"Yes! Anything to make sure you don't sexually harass me Senpai!" Tobi said with a little too much enthusiasm. Sasori just nodded, not wanting to interject into the awkward conversation.

**After Preparing for the "Mission":**

_Ding dong. Ding dong._

"Now who could that be? I was just about to re-watch America's Storage Room Cleaning... Then I was going to watch the episode with Busby's Chair..." Pein muttered to himself as he left his room to open the door.

"The target has left his room; he is now heading towards the front door," Kisame spoke into a walkie-talkie. He waited for a confirming "Rodger that" before turning to Itachi. "Deidara said that he'd contact Hidan and Kakuzu real quick to tell them to get ready."

"Okay, get prepared for when we hear the signal..."

**In the Living Room:**

"Hidan, Deidara just contacted me. Act natural because Pein is heading over."

"Psh, I always act natural," Hidan scoffed, "Unlike you, you stingy mother fucker."

"Just shut up Hidan, and hand me the television remote while you're at it," Kakuzu instinctively replied.

"Great, not only do I have a cheap ass for a partner, but he's lazy too!"

"It's right next to you!"

"So! Get it yourself!"

"Oh come on! It's supposed to play Reservoir Dogs in a little bit!"

"Well that's just too fucking bad!"

_Oh, just wonderful. Hidan and Kakuzu are at each others' throats again. I'll have to break up the fight after I get the door... _Pein thought as he walked past the bickering pair without them even noticing.

**At the Front Door:**

"Deidara," Sasori started,"What are our fake names?"

"You'll find out once Pein answers the door, un."

"That's another hole in the plan; you can't say 'un,' or else Pein will get suspicious."

"Alright, un—" Sasori elbowed him in the ribs, "understood, I mean."

Tobi was about to say something when they heard the sound of locks being clicked behind the door. "Hello," Pein said, looking at the disguised members.

"Wassup bro? I'm Timothy," Deidara pointed at himself, "This is Daniel,"he pointed at Sasori, "and that's little Samuel over there." The three were wearing hipster sunglasses, and inside-out beanies.

"Um, what's with the hats?"

"Regular hats are too mainstream," 'Daniel' replied with a lisped voice.

"What about the glasses; you do realize that it's dork and cloudy right now, right."

"Puhshaww, if we punched out then lenses they'd be too mainstream." 'Samuel' said in a regular voice that was deeper than his real one.

"Alright... But how come you guys don't go by shortened versions of your names? You know, like 'Tim,' 'Dan,' or 'Sam?'

"Dude, do we have to spell it out for you? If we did that, we would be _way_ too mainstream. You know, just the other day we were wearing a sideways unicorn horns. People on the streets called us the 'Hipster Unicorns.' I think it fit very well, un." Deidara burst with rage; for some reason he started to improvise more and more of his hipster act.

"Wait, what did you say? Did you say 'un'?" Pein raised an eyebrow at the trio on his front porch.

"..." The three were silent...

**AN: Okay, so this was the first chapter that actually has to deal with Deidara's plan. I hope that it met your guys' expectation. As usual, I apologize for any errors throughout this. And I have to say, I got really quick feedback for the previous ****chapter.**** It was so fast that I was completely astonished by it! Hopefully this chapter will get the same response rate (hint hint). The next chapter should be published relatively soon as well. **

**I know that I didn't exactly say what Hidan or Kakuzu were doing, and that's the point, because it will come up in a later chapter... Possibly the next one, which should be out pretty quick as well. And yes, Kakuzu was going to watch Reservoir Dogs (an amazing movie directed by Quinten Tarentino... I'm not sure if I spelled his name right... XD). I just watched it on Netflix a day ago. I have to say, Mr. White, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Pink are my favorite characters.**

**Hahaha, well, the thing about the "Hipster Unicorn" is semi-true. I was at my aunts house, and she had an inflatable unicorn horn. I—for some reason—had decided to wear it, but it kept falling off. I soon discovered that if I wore it sideways it would stay on better. Then I decided to dub myself as a "Hipster Unicorn." XD Well, see you guys next chapter! Stay Safe!**


End file.
